POPTIMISTIC

Using Blogs to Grow a Small Business

JonPaul — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 12:40:09 +0000

CLICK HERE for tips on using Facebook to grow your business

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Using Facebook to Grow a Small Business

JonPaul — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 12:38:39 +0000

CLICK HERE for tips on using Twitter to grow your business

CLICK HERE for tips on using Blogs to grow your business

Using Twitter to Grow a Small Business

JonPaul — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 22:39:13 +0000

CLICK HERE for tips on using Blogs to grow your business

CLICK HERE for tips on using Facebook to grow your business

Frida’s Top 13 News Stories of 2011

JonPaul — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 22:04:28 +0000

It’s definitely a dog’s life. From the birth of Occupy Wall Street to the death of Osama Bin Laden, here is Frida’s photo essay.

Osama Bin Laden’s Death

U.S. Debt Crisis & Economy

Arab Spring

Charlie Sheen’s Meltdown

Hurricane Irene

Occupy Wall Street

The Royal Wedding

Eurozone Crisis

The Rapture

Steve Jobs passing

Anthony Weiner’s Weiner

Interminable Republican Primaries

New York’s Marriage Equality

Occupy Spit List

JonPaul — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 15:30:08 +0000

This is the year The Spit List went political, global and multimedia. Yes, my Thanksgiving roundtable game of announcing a person (or concept) you find so vile that if you met them on a red carpet you’d spit on them, made a decisive turn this year away from pop-culture to dissatisfaction with all levels of politicos. Call it the Occupy Effect. Oh, sure, I tried to throw in a couple of sweeping trends—like this insatiable desire for all things Zombies that I find unbearable. But for every passing reference to a “Real” Housewife of Beverly Hills (provided on absentee ballot/pie by Angela) there was a rousing call for “down with the Super Committee!” (courtesy of Mike).

Political spit rage traveled the globe. Via Facebook, Aimee in Afghanistan laid a wad on Herman Cain’s advisor—fearing that with his recent Secret Service protection she might be arrested if she spat upon the Presidential candidate himself. We all agreed that was clearly not worth it. Relatives of candidates were nominated for some saliva action—both Werner at the table and Jimmy (emailing from Dallas) nominated Marchus Bachmann whom Jimmy described as a “puffed up, scared, closeted man taking advantage of vulnerably people struggling with their sexuality and pushing them further into a closet of guilt, fear and shame.” Hear! Hear!

We’re as fair and balanced as Fox News at our table, so I should point out that died-in-the-wool Democrat Keith offered up a triumverate of donkeys that deserve a little wet action including City Comptroller John Liu for shady fundraising practices; John Edwards for taking advantage of Bunny Mellon, the 100+ year old patron saint of fashion, beauty, decorating; and Anthony Weiner. The latter not because any of the gay boys at our table give a rat’s ass about texting a pic of your weiner to a trick, but because upon resigning a right-wing radical took possession of a critical Congressional seat. It should be said that I remember being flustered years back when Hilary Clinton ended up on someone’s spit list—so he’s come a long way baby. Kudos for balance.

The criminal justice system came in for a drubbing. First, the authorities around the Penn State scandal (later generalized to the rioting Penn Sate students). Then Angela indicted the L.A. County Justice System for giving celebrities 90 days in jail and then only having them serve 36 minutes. Poor Lindsay—she’s not even worthy of the Spit List. Only her jailers are.

Speaking of celebrities, Scott apologized for his suggestion of the Kardashians—saying it was almost too easy and obvious. But we all agreed it needed to be acknowledged, but quickly moved on. As if this country has more important things to spit on. Like Occupy Wall Street—a suggestion texted in by Jim P. upset that the group “lost the opportunity to make a real point.”

Squandering an opportunity was the theme of this year’s winner of Conversation Stopping Jaw Dropping Spit List Nominee. To give you a sense of how controversial this award is, let me just remind you that one year the nominee was Trip Palin, the family’s down syndrome child. I know, the image hits you hard. But Angela had her reasons.

But this year’s winner clearly was Chef with his pronouncement: Steve Jobs. There was a brief rules kerfuffle around whether one could spit on a dead person. So Chef altered his nomination to encompass the adoring/unchecked idolization of Steve Jobs & Apple who are complicit in using child labor and inhumane working conditions in China to produce our coveted iPads, iPods, and more. This is dirty dealing folks, on the same level as when were shocked in the 80s that Nike and Kathie Lee employed sweat shop labor—and we insisted they do something about it. But no such voice seems to be sweeping the consumer products industry demanding better treatment for electronics workers. Chef is a convert to this cause after seeing Mike Daisey’s one man show “The Agony and Ecstacy of Steve Jobs” at The Public Theater.

Until next year, thanks for playing and helping use bodily fluids in positive ways.

For more information on The Spit List and how to play, check out my book “Alphabet City: My So-Called Sitcom Life” or my previous online effort ABCityblog.com.

Destination: Down Under—The Uluru Understatement

JonPaul — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 14:00:36 +0000

#1 Because the only thing more captivating than Hugh Jackman’s dancing legs is the humble nature of the Aborigine people, the traditional caretakers of majestic Uluru/Ayers Rock.

photo by Tourism NT

Suddenly Broadway is awash in the sights and sounds of the Australian outback. And while there’s high camp fun as the manly ladies of Priscilla Queen of the Desert high tail it to Uluru/Ayers Rock in a glammed up camper van, the utterly dashing Hugh Jackman has a leg up on them—in authenticity. Near the end of his second act of Hugh Jackman Back on Broadway, the captivating star tells the story of having been forever changed living with Aboriginal people in his early ‘20s. Cue video montage of spectacular footage set to the didgeridoo and vocalizations of some of the top Aboriginal performers in Australia. It’s a special moment to see the worlds of big box office Broadway collide with an intensely naturalistic and ancient culture. Made even more so to see how appreciative, yet humble the Aboriginal stars took in the adoration.

That special blend of low-key attitude I experienced first hand on my recent trip Down Under to Uluru/Ayers Rock. For many years, it was a right of passage for many Australians (and foreigners) to visit the enormous rock formation in the Red Centre of the country—and climb to the top in triumph. But to the Anangu people, the Aborigines who have lived in the area for thousands of centuries long pre-dating Westerners, Uluru is an incredibly sacred site, fully integrated into their religious story telling and beliefs. It’s incredibly difficult to think of a Western comparison. Scaling and taking pictures atop Jerusalem’s Wailing Wall? Or for a more secular option, rock climbing the face of the Statue of Liberty? So when the management of Uluru was finally returned to their watchful hands by the Australian government, I fully expected the Anangu would just proclaim an outright ban on climbing the rock.

Imagine my surprise then to see a load of visitors climbing Uluru, ignoring just one gentle sign saying, “That’s a really important sacred thing that you are climbing…You shouldn’t climb. It’s no the real thing about this place. The real thing is listening to everything. And maybe that makes you a bit sad. But anyway, that’s what we have to say.” At first, my Western sensibility thought, “Just ban the idiots from climbing!” But as I spent more time at Uluru, including tours with the Anangu people, I took to heart listening to everything and understanding, albeit in a small way, the mystical nature of the place. Soon, I came to appreciate the understated yet elegant methods of the Anangu. While I only carry the memory of Uluru in my mind, hopefully the spirit of its caretakers stays with me. Awakened in unexpected places like a trip to Broadway.

Like one of my all-time favorite films Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, the ultimate destination on my last trip Down Under was Uluru (Ayers Rock) in the country’s “Red Centre.” Granted, I didn’t take a bus or wear a silver lamé dress (damn), but I did sing lots of disco songs and chose a circuitous route. I found the majesty of Uluru spellbinding—one of those places that more than lives up to expectations. No wonder it’s a finalist to be one of the New7Wonders of Nature, an online poll that will announce winners on 11.11.11. Join me in voting for Uluru/Ayers Rock, by visiting www.n7w.com/uluru. Who knows, maybe I’ll end up adding Uluru to my sleeve.

photo by Jamie Beck; tattoo by Friday Jones

Jon Paul Buchmeyer for Poptimistic.com

Destination: Down Under—Bigger from Above

JonPaul — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 13:38:11 +0000

#5 Because everything is bigger in Australia which means an aerial view from a helicopter is the only way to take in the utterly imposing majesty of Uluru. A photo essay.

photo by Tourism NT

Jon Paul Buchmeyer for Poptimistic.com

Destination: Down Under—Spears & Dots

JonPaul — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 08:00:55 +0000

#6 Because when my Anangu Aboriginal guide at Uluru/Ayers Rock realized I was hopeless at spear throwing, he suggested I’d be better at dot painting—a traditionally female art!

It was a junior high moment all over again. There I was desperately trying to butch it up and not throw like a girl. Except instead of a baseball and mean jock of a coach, this time it was a spear and a shy yet cheeky Aboriginal guide. One of the most intriguing and insightful ways to really understand the special place that Uluru/Ayers Rock holds in the mythology of Australia’s native people is to spend a morning under their tutelage.

Anangu Waai, a tour operator owned as a cooperative by the Anangu people, the traditional custodians of the rock, offer tours with lessons in carving and throwing wooden implements. I gave it my best. I really did. But predictably, and stereotypically, I was hopeless. Rather than laugh me off the rock, the guide smiled and told me not to lose heart, he was sure I’d be better at the dot painting. I took that as a compliment—and encouragement.

Sure enough, after being suspect of dot painting, I got completely caught up in creating my own story of the journey to Ayers Rock—my rather literal interpretation included coming from a land where a large green lady holds a torch (thanks Lady Liberty). My painting earned a smile from my teacher. And I learned to love the Anangu people up close and personal—enriching the rest of my Uluru experience.

photo by Tourism NT

Jon Paul Buchmeyer for Poptimistic.com

Destination: Down Under—Champagne Sounds

JonPaul — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 08:00:50 +0000

#7 Because the idea of standing in the middle of the desert, toasting the majestic view of Uluru with champagne, could only spring from mind of an Aussie.

Truthfully, I had no idea what to expect departing the Ayers Rock Resort centralized hotel complex near Uluru onboard a bus marked “Sounds of Silence.” We were deposited in the midst of the desert and encouraged to walk a path over a small hill. On top, I captured my first true glimpse of the famous monolith rising out of an ocean of land. Right nearby, a tray of bubbly was on hand to celebrate the moment. Bless the Aussies.

Soon however, the silence I had been promised was punctured by the sound of a didgeridoo—that Aboriginal instrument made famous during the Sydney Olympics. Having spent a decent amount of time boning up on my Aboriginal culture, I frowned knowing that the instrument actually hailed from way up North and was not indigenous to this area. Even worse, what was that white boy doing playing it?

I took my mind off the offending cultural anomaly by focusing on the crazy get-up a tarted up tourist was sporting. Pumps in the desert? As I snapped a few photos, the sounds ended and the musician explained his father and grandfather hailed from the northern territory where they taught him to carve this didgeridoo by hand. Well, that’ll teach me to make snap judgments, especially when it comes to Australia’s focus on making the entire Uluru experience as culturally authentic as possible. From that moment on, I knew the next few days on these sacred grounds were going to be a real treat.

photo by Tourism NT

photo by Jamie Beck; tattoo by Friday Jones

Jon Paul Buchmeyer for Poptimistic.com

Destination: Down Under—Deadly Dingoes

JonPaul — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 08:00:55 +0000

#8 Because Aussies are nothing if not brutally honest about the threat of wild animals even in a spiritual sanctuary like Uluru.

After an almost two week lead up, arriving at Uluru (Ayers Rock) in Australia’s Red Centre I expected to be greeted with a sense of calm, wonderment, awe. Instead, a sign near baggage claim nearly had me in hysterics. Was a sign necessary? Hadn’t everyone seen Meryl Streep in A Cry in the Dark? Thankfully, I wasn’t traveling with a baby—or Juan Pablo, who probably wouldn’t have been able to get over the threat. Although he’d be happy to know how to avoid French, German and Japanese speaking dingoes.

Although, at that point in the trip, I shouldn’t have been surprised. Practically everywhere I turned Down Under there was a sign announcing dangerous encounters with wildlife. So far, I’d avoided the deadly jellyfish in Darwin and the marauding parrots on Hamilton Island. Now I was just hoping I didn’t encounter any rampaging koalas around Uluru.

photo by Tourism NT

photo by Jamie Beck; tattoo by Friday Jones

Jon Paul Buchmeyer for Poptimistic.com